Sending Love to Grandpa J

Not sure if she’s just now starting to put everything together, but the last few weeks Camryn has been asking a lot about my Dad. Before, she always just accepted that Grandpa J was her Grandpa – and my Dad – but never really questioned why we don’t see him. That has all changed now and even after five years, I’m just not prepared for this talk! Kevin always steps in for me when I can’t respond and for that, I am so thankful!

Yesterday, as we were getting ready for her birthday party, the conversation went something like this:

C: “Mama, Bath Baby loves me so much.” (NOTE: Bath Baby is one of her babies and was a present from Uncle Rich last year.)

J: “Yes, of course she does. Just like you love me so much!”

C: “Yes, and just like you love Grandpa J so much!”

Wow – totally unexpected and pulled at my heart so hard! I’m pretty sure that I did manage to mumble something like, “Yes Baby”, but who can be totally sure…

So, we had a great time at her party and she was so happy to bring three pink balloons home too. Kevin has made a point whenever she has a balloon that we always “send it to Grandpa J” when we get home. This is nothing new, but now there are questions.

As I stood in the driveway with her, holding Cody, she smiled and let go of the balloons. And watched them until we couldn’t see them anymore. Then, she turns to me and says, “How do we know that he got them?”

Such a sweet girl.

After she thought for awhile about my answer of “they made it there for sure,” she asked me when she could go to see him at his house and that it would be nice to see him soon.

If I had to make a list of things that I would want to do if I could do anything? My dad hugging my kids would be #1. WITHOUT A DOUBT. But since I have to rely on knowing that he watches over them and still knows them without being physically here, I must acknowledge that I am so thankful for the people who are here and who love them so much. Thank you for being in their lives! Means the world to me!

And, as soon as I can talk to her about him without tearing up, then I will sit down and show her pictures and tell her all sorts of stories about her wonderful, greatly-missed Grandpa J.